No idea.

I have no idea what I was going to post here. I saved a completely blank spot for no reason.

Weird huh?

From then to now...

So it's been (looking at calendar) 3 months since I last posted (I've actually started about a dozen, but never finished them and now they're no longer timely).



So lets see...highlights and lowlights.



1. The wee V is now 5'10 and puberty seems to be in remission (or at least the attitude does)

2. Spud..is a whirling dervish of destruction. He has two modes..GO FAST..and sleep.

3. Mr. Dreadful and I are still renovating the old money pit..I mean house.

4. I'm still playing soccer (miraculous I know..I'm sure the ol' knees will buckle any day now)

5. I have my first actual real wrinkle, it's between my eyes on my forehead, perhaps from squinting? Mr. Dreadful say's most likely it's from giving stupid people the "stink eye".
My Mom has it too..so I suspect he may be right.

6. I have embraced technology to the extent that I have both an iPod touch, a fussy digital SLR camera..AND..a Kindle.
How cool am I? Pretty damn cool..but now I obsess about people breaking into my house to
steal all my snappy new electronic gadgets.

7. I recently had a very dear friend from my misspent youth die. And it sucks, because the world was just a better place with him it (funnier for sure at least)

7. Ummm..thats it.... I guess doing an overview makes my life seem less interesting that a daily/weekly sorta posting does.

I shall endeavor to work on that!

Happy Belated Mothers Day to all my lovely mom type friends.

-P.D

Inkheart

Yesterday was a teacher workday for my Vinner (well today is as well, but his grandmother was lovely enough to volunteer to stay home today so I dont exhaust my leave)



So yesterday we decided to go see a movie.



After loading up on snacks at World Market (much better candy, and much less expensive) we decided on Inkheart, based on the book of the same name.



Vincent is teeter-tottering on puberty, meaning almost all the physical signs of maturity are present, but the rest of the mental and emotional stuff is still iffy depending on how the wind blows a particular day.



However, this post is not about the challenges of my darling first born randomly turning into a snide, sarcastic little shit at the drop of a hat, then swiftly back to my sweet child. FEAR NOT!



The movie was wonderful, I haven't enjoyed a movie that much in ages. Mind you it's been ages since I last went to a movie (10.75 for a small popcorn and a medium coke though really is absurd!) but I had such a wonderful time, and my Vincent was a true joy to be around, sweet, funny, and just plain cool.

Yeah for being his mom :-)

Moving on up!

The construction on the addition is complete.



FINALLY..I mean effing finally. (new year, gotta curb the cursing)



Moved the beds up Saturday, and have slowly been moving the rest of the stuff up since then.

It's nice for Spud to finally have his own room, even if it's over two feet smaller than blue printed, I have no idea what we're going to do when he outgrows the crib, because a twin bed will be a tight squeeze indeed..but will deal with that when it comes.

I have lots and lots of windows now..and french doors from our bedroom leading out to the back porch.

Woot.

Embarrassing confession

Red velvet cake cookies.

Simply the most divine things ever.

Except when you eat too many, and it changes the color of your pee.

Seriously, I almost had a heart attack on the hopper the other day.

I thought I was hemmoraging. But no, I was just stupid.

This is gonna be one hell of a year I can tell already.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yeah, I'm late. But hey at least it's still January..

Gone to seed

I finally got around to getting my hair cut on Monday. 8 1/2 inches off. People in the salon were gasping like it was some big deal, like I was making some sort of life statement by cutting my hair.

I was just tired of long hair, perhaps I'm finally getting old, but having hair almost down to my waist was just too high maintenance, so I ended up doing nothing with it, I would twist back into a bun at the nape of my neck, stab it with a hairstick or two and about half way through the day I'd unwrap it shake it out...and retwist it up (my hair was so flippin heavy I felt like I had a blanket attached to my scalp) At night I would just braid it.



Anyway so I FINALLY got around to cutting it. Which meant suddenly I had to buy a hairdryer..I havent used one in over two years so god only knows where mine is.



The reactions I've gotten have given see to the idea that after having my darling little spudderkins, I let myself "go to seed".

Growing up sucks.

Social Networking...?

So I caved to the pressure of the masses and joined Facebook.

And YEAH!!! reconnected with some of my bestie friends from my scholarly years. And whoa, I have some seriously hot friends now...

Booooo! Had dude from high school put the icky facebook moves on me.

Really dude..just yuck..__ years later, and I've got kids and am practically married (without that whole being married bit) and you're trying to score a hookup on FACEBOOK???

But yeah! I ran into fun friends and got "Flair"

Halloweener

Halloween is creepy-ing up on us.

Have you got your costume picked out?

I am thinking maybe I shave an arrow into my head and go as "Avatar: The Last Airbender"

or maybe not.

Hey, why not?

That's what the wrapper on my piece of Dove Promises chocolate (the caramel one) asked me today at lunch.

And I thought, huh..good question.

So, think of something you really want to accomplish but haven't....be it small or large.

And ask yourself "Hey, why not?"

:-)

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Sorry for the political upheaval postings..But if my government would please stop trying to screw us in the ass, Perhaps I could go back to posting stuff that makes me laugh.

This does not make me laugh

HHS Moves to Define Contraception as Abortion

In memory of the fourth amendment....

"In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist; And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist; And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew; And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

America, do you have any idea what your government is doing? Do you care?

Well?

The sky is falling..the sky is falling

Further evidence the world is ending.

the_end_of_the_world_as_we_know_it

Smart Bitches, Trashy Books...

My grandmother used to tell me that it didn't matter what I read, as long as I read something.

So I used to spend my summers reading trashy romance novels in her garden (or as she affectionately called them "bodice rippers"

Somehow I dont think Gramma had this in mind... teh_buttsecks

As different as night and day

Already at only 5 months my darling little spud his showing his personality.

And it is amazing to me how different my two children are (though it bugs Mr. Dreadful to no end that they look indentical at this age, if one were to put a picture of The WeeV and Spud at 5 months next to each other, it would appear as two photo's of same child)



V as a child was a cuddler, he loved nothing more than taking a snooze face down on Mommy.

We used to while away more than a few afternoons with him happily snoozing and drooling on me.



Spud will have none of that, he'll nap sitting on my lap, but he must be face out, toward the world. Meeting it face on even in sleep.



Both are happy children, one more cautious the other more stubborn.

Back on the field again.

So a few weeks ago I stepped back out on to the pitch...Ahh the sweet smell of artificial turf, how I missed you.

Now those of you who are regular readers (ok the maybe two or three of you that are occassional readers) know that I have played the sport of the gods ...aka..soccer...aka..football

FOREVER (30 years) ...as my knees can attest.



But for the first time in that forever I started to run that first night back and...didn't go anywhere with any sort of accelleration.



My pregnancy, two month incarceration in hospital, and the follow month(s) which have added up to a year off the field have made me old..and very slow.



I felt like my legs were made of lead (because my arse clearly was) and I was dragging a U-Haul uphill.



My mind was racing down the field, however my body was still lagging far far behind.

So I went home and cried. Because I was too fat, slow and old to play soccer anymore.

And being a soccer player is a part of who I am.

I know I just need to accentuate the positive and all that other rah rah nonsense.

Bugger

To the Unknown Land

It’s a terrible thing when you can’t enjoy something that should be the most wonderful time in your life..your pregnancy and the birth of your child.


Beginning with the tempered joy of discovering the pregnancy,

Endless tests for both you and the child that is growing beneath your heart.

Passing one milestone, breathing a bit easier..only to be confronted by another possible problem.

You try to share it with your partner, after all it is his child as well, but deep inside you realize, nobody else really gets it. This fearful joy that you feel each morning as you wake, and each night as you lay down, silently thanking God for a day without issue.
And selfishly begging for another…and another.
The feeling of your child moving and growing within you giving you reason to believe in happy endings.

And when that day comes when something does go wrong, when that test does come giving you one more thing you must deal with, one more decision you must make you do what you can to keep yourself glued together.

Telling yourself that it will be all worth it, that you will have a child in the end, you may have to fight like hell, but you will hold your baby in your arms and in a couple of years this will all be just a crappy memory that you share with this child.

You hope. Even though life has taught you differently, you hope.

One day on a whim you buy something for the baby, knowing it’s probably a bad idea.
And then one day you find yourself with more and more “baby stuff” and slowing you convince yourself this will be ok. It has to be.

But what do you do when it’s not?

When you end up in the hospital very sick and to save your life, you give birth to this tiny being that is way too fragile for this harsh world. A child that a grown man can hold in the palm of his hand.

They talk to you of statistics and averages and worst case scenarios, but you look at this tiny being, your child and you cannot help but feel the stirring of that old feeling…Hope.

That your child will beat those odds. That your child will survive and you will bring her home and hold her in your arms and love her like only you can.

You will do ANYTHING to make that happen, you would give everything you own for that.

You spend hours sitting by your child’s side, you can’t touch her yet, but you know she can hear you, so you talk, about anything, sometimes you read to her.
And you are back holding your breath with every day that passes, only now your child is not growing within you, but battling for every moment, hour and day in the hospital.

But when all your begging and pleading and bargaining falls on deaf ears…how do you go on? When your child that you carried for twenty five weeks and six days, who struggled and fought for thirteen days finally surrenders the battle and dies, how do you face the world again?

How will you make sense of that loss? What words will comfort you?


This world is a harsh place. Do not take your blessings for granted.

If you have children, hug them often. Tell them you love them no less than twice a day.
Go home tonight and just hold them and thank whatever god you pray to for this day.

Because my coworker, and my friend would give anything to be in your shoes.

Instead today she is picking out a casket and making burial arrangements for her daughter.


Annabelle: born-08 March, 2008 died- 21 March, 2008.


May God Bless You All.

Well Shit.

Whilst I was in the hospital baking spud, K. a co-worker and friend announced that she too was pregnant, due in early June.

She had a very tumultous first pregnancy about 10 years ago (something having to do with restricted blood flow to her uterus) so much like I, the joy of impending motherhood was tempered by unease at the possible return of the same issue.

When at approx 18 weeks it was discovered she did NOT have that problem with this pregnancy much happiness and joy abounded...her daughter while small seemed to be doing just fine.



Then a few weeks ago, her blood pressure started climbing. Suspecting stress and perhaps early pre-eclampsia, her doctor reduced her working schedule to half/every other day and told her to rest.

Last week, her pressure was alarmingly high, and several tests caused the doctors to hospitalize her..the goal was to get her to March 23, at which time she would be 26 weeks..and then hopefully extend it another two weeks..with the ultimate goal being 30 weeks.



Unfortunately, Saturday morning K, started vomiting..and vomiting and vomiting bile.

And then her liver started to shut down so, she had to have her baby.

Annabelle-

25 weeks and 6 days...

12 oz.

9 1/2 inches long.

Barely longer than an adult hand.



My heart just weeps for her, because I've been there. Seeing that incredibly tiny human laboring for every breath (and mine.the wee-V at 4lbs6oz was a veritable giant compared to Annabelle)

K can't pick her up yet, because she's still too fragile to touch.

But you just sit and talk, knowing that your voice calms them (and you can see that from the monitors beeping above) but also knowing that you may have to hold on to these memories forever if something goes wrong. And you just want to jam as many as possible into your head.

I'm praying so hard I'm getting hemmorhoids..

Frozen felicitations...

We got an ice storm last night. Just enough to inconvenience me, and make my pilgrimage to my place of enslavement precarious (because of course it is all about me in my world) the wee-V got a pass on school (closed), and my co-worker's didn't come in..(blurg)
Spud is at his babysitters being cuddled and coddled by the Belgian.

I am sooo leaving early today...

Todays mean thing..

I loathe Tom Cruise.
REALLY.
I think he is just the biggest asshole in the history of assholes.
I simply cannot fathom how anyone can stand him.
He's a ridiculously narcissistic pompous short man with all sorts of issues.
I wish he would go away.

And what the hell happened to Katie Holmes when she married him?
Now she is just as annoying, and entirely too vapid for words.

I now loathe her as well.

and I am not alone: evidence more_evidence