Oh Dear Lord...he's a "GUY"

So, despite my best efforts my son has turned into a "guy" at least when it comes to sports..
I'm not sure how it happened...but I'm appalled.
I walked into the living room the other day only to discovered my darlingangel....Watching football, and I dont mean the exalted sport of soccer.
I mean American football...the possibly most pointless sport in the history of pointless sports.
How did this happen? I dont watch football, and his father is too uninvolved to have any sort of effect on him..so clearly I am troubled as to where this proclivity for one of the most boring spectator sports on earth has come from
Has some stranger been showing him football footage? discussing sports with him?
Is it perhaps that being a sports fanatic is indeed something you're born with? A latent gene
Like balance? or the ability to accessorize?
Which would make sense since my verybestfriend H (and darlingangels godfather) told me he realized he was gay when he was about 8 or 9. (as you see I fall firmly on the genetics -v- choice side of the lawn with this issue)
How on earth did this happen? Have I not directed him toward the arts? books? music? Soccer AND Hockey are both religions in our home...so why would he break his poor mothers heart and become a FOOTBALL FAN???
Granted I still refuse to buy him a playstation/XBox/gamecube But surely THAT could not have retarded his intellectual/emotional growth this much, as to make him a football fan...I am absolutely at a loss here.
Do they have interventions for this sort of thing? And would it/could it be effective on a 3rd grader?

Soccer...it's for chicks!

As some of you may know...and now all of you do.
I play soccer. (RAH!)
I play outdoor spring, summer and fall..And also play indoor all year round.
And, aside from soccer being the most fantabulous sport on earth, I also play with some incredible women.
This past weekend we had a birthday party for one my teammates..Her 50th!
Yes you lazy ass-draggers I said 50..

Anyway, the party was brilliant and a good time was had by all...and I ran back into a brilliant friend that due to our insanely busy lives and the fact that chaos always insues..we only get a chance to hang at these doo's (she doesnt play any longer due to a hinky knee)

And I laughed..and laughed...and laughed so hard that I was wheezing and almost wet myself....Everyone else was pretty much looking at us like we were insane...but we had such a brilliant time we couldnt breathe.

And I think that is just the coolest, to have someone or a group of someones...that can make you laugh so hard you have a humor-hangover the next morning.

Good Friends rock....if you dont have any...Go get yourself some...go on..

My ears are bleeding

Arrrgh. I am at work (which sucks enough in its own right) And one of my co-workers is driving me nutters..
She is in love...head over heels/OCD/cannot shut her yap kinda love...


She bores us all to tears every morning by detailing us with every minutia of their telephone conversation(s) the night before...and asking our assistance in disecting every moment for hidden meaning..
"Sure he SAYS he doesnt want a relationship, but he calls me, and wants to see me when he comes up" (he lives deep in Southern VA...scaaaaaary)
Well of course he wants to see you when he comes up you silly cow...You give him blow jobs in the car..(which is just tawdry to the extreme)

And New Years?? RETCH..we were all gifted with ever fucking detail of their...well fucking.

EVERY flippin text message he sends her she has to alert the department to, including reiterating that he CLEARLY wants a relationship...no matter what he says sometimes.

-One brief side note here ladies; guys will rarely tell you the ugly truth to your face.
Remember the two most important factors about guys when dealing with girls...
1. They loathe conflict.
2. They want to have sex.
They are afraid that if they tell you to your face they are not interested you will either cry or get angry...which will mean they will not get sex.

Anyway... It is totally driving us all insane, to the point where someone has offered to take up a collection to have her "put to sleep"
We contemplated wacking him instead...but then she'd still wail and whinge about him forever and we would be no better off.

Dammit...

The death clock...

The end is coming....though apparently not for 41 years, 9 months and 16 days..at least in my case...if you too want to check of those valuable seconds..feel welcome to stop by ticktockticktock so you can plan your upcoming years wisely!

Alrighty, now that I've gotten my bit of New Year Morbidity out of the way..
Jeezus Christ on a crutch! What an insane holiday season.

I hope you all survived your Holiday celebrations intact!

Myself? Why I became acquainted with an evil beverage..Southern Comfort..Since I rarely drink (no really, alcohol and Adderall? Hooah...a very unpleasant combo-nation)
This is our first real meeting...and clearly Southern Comfort is male...because I woke up New years day feeling like someone smacked me with a mackeral...much like meeting a new man..