We got an ice storm last night. Just enough to inconvenience me, and make my pilgrimage to my place of enslavement precarious (because of course it is all about me in my world) the wee-V got a pass on school (closed), and my co-worker's didn't come in..(blurg)
Spud is at his babysitters being cuddled and coddled by the Belgian.
I am sooo leaving early today...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Todays mean thing..
I loathe Tom Cruise.
REALLY.
I think he is just the biggest asshole in the history of assholes.
I simply cannot fathom how anyone can stand him.
He's a ridiculously narcissistic pompous short man with all sorts of issues.
I wish he would go away.
And what the hell happened to Katie Holmes when she married him?
Now she is just as annoying, and entirely too vapid for words.
I now loathe her as well.
and I am not alone: evidence more_evidence
REALLY.
I think he is just the biggest asshole in the history of assholes.
I simply cannot fathom how anyone can stand him.
He's a ridiculously narcissistic pompous short man with all sorts of issues.
I wish he would go away.
And what the hell happened to Katie Holmes when she married him?
Now she is just as annoying, and entirely too vapid for words.
I now loathe her as well.
and I am not alone: evidence more_evidence
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My three children...
My darling first born...the wee-V....My sweet baby..spud.......And my breast pump
I have a love hate relationship with the latter.
Since I have been forced to return to work, I have enjoyed (not) multiple daily appointments with the breast pump.
Ameda..Purely yours..double pump.
We meet covertly in the file room (after locking the door, hanging up the "go away" sign outside, and covering the big window next to the door)
I loathe this process daily, and look at it akin to thrice daily trips to the dentists office.
The discomfort not withstanding, I find it near to impossible to relax. Which is necessary to stimulate letdown. Every slight sound I hear I am sure I am either inconveniencing someone or someone is going to try to barge in (yes I know I lock the door, I'm paranoid like that) so I'm nervous as a wren which means I only get the most pitiful drops (which I covet nonetheless)
So why dont I just stop? Excellent question.
The one I admit to and champion? Because it is the best thing for my little spud, he is gorgeous and healthy and I know to a certain extent it is because of my dedication to nursing him and providing him with breastmilk.
The other less championed reason? Because I would feel like a failure if I stopped.
I feel like a crappy mother for even complaining about this, because it is such a small sacrifice for the well being of my child. There are women who travel miles to just get clean water for their family and I'm whinging about 20 minutes three times a day? I should be ashamed of myself for my self indulgence.
But I just cannot psyche myself for this task daily at work..I live for the weekends more so now, so that I can leisurely nurse or pump or whatever is the comfort and privacy of my home.
I tell you.....This being a mom stuff is a slippery slope of self flagellation.
I have a love hate relationship with the latter.
Since I have been forced to return to work, I have enjoyed (not) multiple daily appointments with the breast pump.
Ameda..Purely yours..double pump.
We meet covertly in the file room (after locking the door, hanging up the "go away" sign outside, and covering the big window next to the door)
I loathe this process daily, and look at it akin to thrice daily trips to the dentists office.
The discomfort not withstanding, I find it near to impossible to relax. Which is necessary to stimulate letdown. Every slight sound I hear I am sure I am either inconveniencing someone or someone is going to try to barge in (yes I know I lock the door, I'm paranoid like that) so I'm nervous as a wren which means I only get the most pitiful drops (which I covet nonetheless)
So why dont I just stop? Excellent question.
The one I admit to and champion? Because it is the best thing for my little spud, he is gorgeous and healthy and I know to a certain extent it is because of my dedication to nursing him and providing him with breastmilk.
The other less championed reason? Because I would feel like a failure if I stopped.
I feel like a crappy mother for even complaining about this, because it is such a small sacrifice for the well being of my child. There are women who travel miles to just get clean water for their family and I'm whinging about 20 minutes three times a day? I should be ashamed of myself for my self indulgence.
But I just cannot psyche myself for this task daily at work..I live for the weekends more so now, so that I can leisurely nurse or pump or whatever is the comfort and privacy of my home.
I tell you.....This being a mom stuff is a slippery slope of self flagellation.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Happy day after commercial holiday
Happy day after Valentines day!
I hope your sweeties gave you everything you deserve.
In true form of how my life has been limping along lately, Mr Dreadful and I spent the evening on "concussion watch" for the wee V.
He had a collision with a hard surface (the monkey bars and then the blacktop) at school and knocked himself wonky, so we had to wake him up every two hours as to ensure that he wasn't concussed (he was not..is not)
But after being properly fussed over by Mom he is doing fine and back to school today.
On to other news...we have found a childcare provider for spud, a lovely Belguim'n woman in my neighborhood. She is ever so wonderful and she adores spud (who really is quite adorable currently)
My "plague" turned out to be pneumonia...but I'm recovered now.
I hate to say all is ok now...for fear the other boot will drop on my head, or kick me in the bum.
Anywho, I'm off home to enjoy my long holiday weekend.
peas,
PD
I hope your sweeties gave you everything you deserve.
In true form of how my life has been limping along lately, Mr Dreadful and I spent the evening on "concussion watch" for the wee V.
He had a collision with a hard surface (the monkey bars and then the blacktop) at school and knocked himself wonky, so we had to wake him up every two hours as to ensure that he wasn't concussed (he was not..is not)
But after being properly fussed over by Mom he is doing fine and back to school today.
On to other news...we have found a childcare provider for spud, a lovely Belguim'n woman in my neighborhood. She is ever so wonderful and she adores spud (who really is quite adorable currently)
My "plague" turned out to be pneumonia...but I'm recovered now.
I hate to say all is ok now...for fear the other boot will drop on my head, or kick me in the bum.
Anywho, I'm off home to enjoy my long holiday weekend.
peas,
PD
Thursday, February 07, 2008
I said 'when'..did you not hear me say 'when'?
"When you have had enough, just say when".
When.
The cold my darling spud had last week, turned out to be something worse.
RSV (Respitory Syncytial Virus)
While it is basically a really bad cold for adults.(Which Mr. Dreadful had..and I now have)
But can be quite dangerous for infants under 3 months...which spud is.
Friday evening I returned home from work to a very lethargic, unresponsive, funky breathing and "un-spudlike" spud.
So I played paranoid parent and called the pediatricians office (which now charges a 10 dollar after hours fee for the doctor on call to ring you!)
The doctor who returned my call suggested I take spud to the ER at the local hospital. I grumbled under my breath, Friday nights at the local ER are nightmarish... mostly because the poor souls without medical insurance are guaranteed care if they show up in the ER....but ever the paranoid parent, I went..sure that he would get some antibiotics and be sent on his way home to be cuddled by mom.
Momma was wrong...I stood, terrified tears running down my face in the corner of a room in the ER (thats a good indicator that you know you're actually sick here..if you get a ROOM, not a curtained area) while I heard words whispered like "very sick baby" "CT scan" and the most fear inducing "spinal tap"
The doctors asked a slew of questions "Had he recently had a fall?" "When did you notice these symptoms?" and various others I tried my best to answer...to each person repeating 'He was just at the pediatrician yesterday, and they said he was fine!' as if to prove I was not a neglectful parent.
By this time there were no less than 10 people in the room, at least half of them trying to find a vein on my child so they could start a line.
Mr. Dreadful was attempting to attend to both me and the wee-V who was out in the waiting room waiting for my mom to pick him up, so he missed most of the drama.
Finally after the diagnosis of RSV comes back, and they arrange to transport him up the PICU, (no CT scan or Spinal tap necessar) they let me close enough to lean over next to him and talk to him and touch him (tears and such falling on him) I looked down at the floor and realized I am standing in a little splatter puddle of his blood...
The nurse told me we had gotten him there just in time, that we most likely would have been facing a ambulance ride or worse if we had waited.
He spent that night and half of Saturday in the PICU (in isolation since RSV is very contageous)
and then was transferred to the Pediatrics wing, and finally discharged Monday afternoon..
He has nebulizer treatments 4 times a day right now, and cannot return to daycare.
So I must now find either a nanny (yeah, sure I can afford that) or some sort of daycare provider who does not have a large number of other children.
But aside from a nagging cough and junky sounding wheeze occasionally, he's back to the old spud.
He smiled, and waved his limbs at me when I left for work this morning (finally forced to return after using up the leave I had acquired since my return in early January)
So naturally I am now sick since I havent slept in almost a full week (sleeping chair at the hospital is so not comfy, and every cough has me alert now) and am completely useless.
When.
When.
The cold my darling spud had last week, turned out to be something worse.
RSV (Respitory Syncytial Virus)
While it is basically a really bad cold for adults.(Which Mr. Dreadful had..and I now have)
But can be quite dangerous for infants under 3 months...which spud is.
Friday evening I returned home from work to a very lethargic, unresponsive, funky breathing and "un-spudlike" spud.
So I played paranoid parent and called the pediatricians office (which now charges a 10 dollar after hours fee for the doctor on call to ring you!)
The doctor who returned my call suggested I take spud to the ER at the local hospital. I grumbled under my breath, Friday nights at the local ER are nightmarish... mostly because the poor souls without medical insurance are guaranteed care if they show up in the ER....but ever the paranoid parent, I went..sure that he would get some antibiotics and be sent on his way home to be cuddled by mom.
Momma was wrong...I stood, terrified tears running down my face in the corner of a room in the ER (thats a good indicator that you know you're actually sick here..if you get a ROOM, not a curtained area) while I heard words whispered like "very sick baby" "CT scan" and the most fear inducing "spinal tap"
The doctors asked a slew of questions "Had he recently had a fall?" "When did you notice these symptoms?" and various others I tried my best to answer...to each person repeating 'He was just at the pediatrician yesterday, and they said he was fine!' as if to prove I was not a neglectful parent.
By this time there were no less than 10 people in the room, at least half of them trying to find a vein on my child so they could start a line.
Mr. Dreadful was attempting to attend to both me and the wee-V who was out in the waiting room waiting for my mom to pick him up, so he missed most of the drama.
Finally after the diagnosis of RSV comes back, and they arrange to transport him up the PICU, (no CT scan or Spinal tap necessar) they let me close enough to lean over next to him and talk to him and touch him (tears and such falling on him) I looked down at the floor and realized I am standing in a little splatter puddle of his blood...
The nurse told me we had gotten him there just in time, that we most likely would have been facing a ambulance ride or worse if we had waited.
He spent that night and half of Saturday in the PICU (in isolation since RSV is very contageous)
and then was transferred to the Pediatrics wing, and finally discharged Monday afternoon..
He has nebulizer treatments 4 times a day right now, and cannot return to daycare.
So I must now find either a nanny (yeah, sure I can afford that) or some sort of daycare provider who does not have a large number of other children.
But aside from a nagging cough and junky sounding wheeze occasionally, he's back to the old spud.
He smiled, and waved his limbs at me when I left for work this morning (finally forced to return after using up the leave I had acquired since my return in early January)
So naturally I am now sick since I havent slept in almost a full week (sleeping chair at the hospital is so not comfy, and every cough has me alert now) and am completely useless.
When.
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