Well that would explain my lofty self image

howmuchareyouworth?
I am worth 1,911.356.79

Pocket change...

And they say all Scandanavians look alike.

This is me not get publically intoxicated at an awards banquet with my friend and co-worker Nora.
She shares the blessed genes of Scandanavia with me...

I've been tagged?..could of sworn he said shagged...

Well a fine thanky doo to tidlee, I've been tagged.

Ten things I loathe about my job (yes I know he changed it to 5 and 5, but I'm a purist and resist change)
1. Inflexible hours: Whats up with that crap? Who cares if I'm here at exactly x or leave before y? ..as long as I get the work done. Case in point..I'm here right now!

2. The customers..the customers..the customers. Every stupid person on earth has me on speed dial.

3. That young shit upstairs who is fresh out of college and think being president of his fraternity makes him cool, it doesnt, it just gives me something else to mock him for.

4. Our dress code. Professional during the week with business casual on Fridays, and this is only because our current grand pooh bah used to be a Governor. I want the return of Friday's wearing my Levi's!

5. CUBICLE. Need I say more?

6. That group of horrid women who meet in the bathroom and make fun of other women. I wish I could get away with giving them all swirlies, mean cows.

7. Having to explain something elementary to the higher ups, who just shuttle it off on their underpaid and overworked Admins, or after my one hour tutorial ask "Well could you just do it for us, you understand that stuff"

8. I am surrounded by women who spend the entire freaking day gossiping..about each other to each other..they skulk on over to x to complain about y..then simper to y to kvetch about x..

My Grandmother told me...if they gossip TO you..they gossip ABOUT you..


9.Did I mention I have a CUBICLE?

10. The unwillingness of anyone to go out of their way to obtain knowledge that might be helpful to someone else. Its always "Thats not my job, that's Eduardo"
chowderheads.

Now two things I love:

My director, he is the schizzle in the twizzle. At my previous company I was micromanaged to the point I swear she knew the color of my knickers from hovering behind me so much.
My current big cheese trusts my capabilities and supports my decisions and my work.

Plus he never gives me crap if I need to leave early..

A good boss type person makes up for all the other crap.

And my co-worker Crystal, who is simply a taller version of me..but she can sing.

There are few things funnier than hearing a 6ft blonde with a southern accent say "How would you like a nice cup of Shut the F*ck up?"
Hilarious.

Tonights million dollar question...

Seriously gentlemen..answer this for me please, and ask your friends.

Why does it bother some of you, when a woman is better at SOME sports than you are?

I like being a girl, I'm feminine..

I have looovely long hair, I wear make-up..

But just because I happen to play a sport better than you on occassion..why is this a threat to you? Why does this piss you off?

Theorectically you say you like a woman who's athletic..but is the caveat ONLY if she doesnt actually perform better than you on the field of play?

I do not dance around and say "I'm better hoooah" or patronize you in any way.

And yet on the occassion like tonight when I have a stellar moment at bat and hit a 3 base run..your masculinity is threatened and you storm off home in a huff..

And men says women are complicated? Puh...Pot...Kettle Black?

No Vacancies in the Cranium..

Not till I'm out of high school mom...

Sometimes to kill the monotony I will intentionally have bizzaro conversations with Vincent, completely nonsense exchanges, that exist only to make us both laugh, or to mess with his brilliant little mind.

Last night on the way to soccer Vincent was telling me about a kid in his class that was held back last year, and how funny he is.
To which I replied.."Funny..how?...Like Funny HA HA...or Funny weird"
"Funny HA HA, At the end of the day when we're leaving and he has to go to SAC he throws himself against the windows on the front door like he's a prisoner, and he's always falling on his face"
"I dont know Vin, that sounds funny in the head, he hasn't tried to kiss you or anything has he?" I ask in mock seriousness.
"No Mom, he just hilarious, not funky" (rolling his eyes)
"Well ok, but dont let him try to kiss you"
"Mom, I am not Gay"
"Well I know that" (glancing sideways at him) "But it would be ok if you were..ya know"
"I like girls Mom"
"Wait, have you kissed a girl yet" I pretend to panic..
"Nope" shaking head vehemently
"Good Because you're way to young for that"
"I know, I'm waiting till...like, after I graduate from High School"
"You're waiting until AFTER you graduate High School?" arching brow
"Yep" confident nod of head
"Can I get that in writing perhaps, because I think a girl is gonna wanna kiss you long before that"
"Well I am not going to want to kiss her!" he states confidently.

BWAAA goodness.....kids are fun! Go get yourself some..

Penny on the Block!

I know I'm going to get it in the arse for this one..but whatever.

I live in a suburb just south of Washington D.C.
The original houses were all built in the 40's. Something around here affectionately called "Post WWII boom housing" they are built sturdy as hell, but for a family of considerably lower maintenance than todays (meaning at MAX two bathrooms)
The yard sizes are all willy nilly, with one of my neighbors having a postage stamp sized lawn, while another has a 1/2 acre (like me)
Anyway, my neighborhood for several years now has been a nice neighborhood sandwiched between two increasingly bad neighborhoods.
In these bad neighborhoods there is a predominately Latino population.
Including ones of the biggest representations of the beloved MS13 from El Salvador (yes the ones who hack up their enemies with Machetes)

And frankly I have always thought it wonderful my son goes to a school where there isnt a cultural whiteout, that he learns tolerance and appreciation of all races, creeds, colors and religions, Vincents first "girlfriend" was a chinese orphan with lesbians as parents..rock on!
I constantly rib my brother in Wisconsin that the only his kids see anyone who is not as white as white can be white is on TV.

Well, Penny aint so zen about it any more.

Theres a new phenom in town and I am not happy.

Frankly my hood is turning into a scary assed place and I dont like it.

Small slab ramblers are being sold/bought, promptly gutted down to one wall, and then these ugly McMansions are being thrown up, and two or three latino families are shacking up together.

No lawn mowing is occuring, no house maintence at all. In fact sheets are the currently curtain of choice. But no matter what there's a "Dish" or two stuck somewhere in the yard.
GOD FREAKIN FORBID YOU MISS "EL FOOTBALL" TO MAYBE MOW YOUR FREAKIN LAWN!!!!
But then how can they mow...when their cars are parked ON their front lawns??

I walk my dogs in the evening (and thank you god they give a WIDE berth when I've got Brutus on the line)and curse these dillweeds vehemently under my breath.
I no longer live in a nice friendly neighborhood.
Car vandalizations are rampant, as are muggings and even a MURDER? what the hell is that?
My brother keeps attempting to get me to move to Pissconsin, but I dont see that being the answer either.

There, a nice politically incorrect rant from Penny.

Forgive my intolerance, even I am not perfect.

Sometimes you just wanna scream

I have spent the entire morning modifying a server list of about 5 thousand records. And then pffft the power went out. Yes I saved a good portion of it, but still. I have to redo the other brainfrying portion..

Happy Happy Joy Joy..Happy Happy Joy.

Well that's why it's called a personal life.

This past weekend a friend who reads my blog asked me why I never talk about my dating/love life on here. I figured there are enough women who fancy themselves "Bridget Jones" on the freakin internet already. Besides why on earth would someone be interested?

Fine. I cave to pressure.

I'll keep it brief. Yes I have a person I see with regularity.
He is currently a Combat Medic in the Army.
He is very good to me, and claims to like me quite alot.
He is also very intelligent, and absolutely adorable.
And harking back to a blog of many moons ago... I am absolutely certain that I could not take him in a fight (not that the event would ever arise to test this theory)

Nosey buggers...are you happy now?

Wait is my blog about my life? Or is my life about my blog??

You know your blogging is getting out of hand when you have a conversation with a friend on the telephone about your blogs..and the comments you have left on each others blogs.
Clearly I need an intervention..

Maybe he can take up cross stitch..

I, as luck (snort) would have it..happen to work within sneezing distance of the US Federal Courthouse...
Yes THAT courthouse...where Zacarias Moussaoui is/was being tried

This has bunged up traffic to a point that is almost inexplicable..not to mention security as been tighter than a *ahem*

I have become accustomed to seeing federal marshals with assault weapons on the roof of my parking garage..and looking out the window during a meeting and watching my car get sniffed by a bomb dog..stranger still.

Well today they read the verdict.
Life in prison..no chance of parole.
And..that is that.

L i f e i n p r i s o n, no chance of parole...sentencing next week.

Because I'm unoriginal..

I took this test on Melanie's Blog.

And I'm too lazy to come up with my own topic today..so I nicked hers.

Thank you Melanie!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test