I'm back...and now on to something more important..

Breathe easy my little minions, I am fine.

The beginning of June is simply a sucky time for me, so I retreat in my shell (like a typical cancerian) and emerge all shiny and new in a few weeks..with my hard crunchy shell intact.


Anyway, enough about me...
As you know if you've been paying attention. I dont post about the goings on...going on...on someone elses blog...but, today I read Tideliars blog about the loss of a childhood friend recently who died while serving in Afghanistan.
My heart broke for him. Regardless how you feel about this war, or war in general....losing somebody you know, never mind care for, brings it crashing into your solar plexus like a fist. That someone so alive in your mind is now gone, and there will be no more memories to be made..

I have been there, and it sucks more profoundly than words can ever express...the great gaping hole where a memory used to be.
For a while, the memories take on a pain all their own, and when you visit them, they hurt so much they literally take your breath away.

And everytime you hear of it happening to "someone else" it all comes rushing back, I know they say time heals all wounds, but I think it is easier to simply say that in time you learn to live with some wounds, and they just become part of who you are, they no longer define you, but they have shaped you.

And those who still have someone "over there" when you hear about something like this, the fear is beyond terror, because the only way to survive is to not acknowledge that it can happen to anyone even to ____, or else it will drive you mad.

So, Tideliar my very dear friend. My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain, and I grieve with you over the loss of your friend.

I have no words that will make it "better" because they simply do not exist..

It just sucks.

Godspeed.