Add another cat...stir..

And VIOLA! Instant insanity. Meet Murphy, the newest member of the nuthouse.

I adopted him from the local shelter. He was a stray...

Since I currently already have one dog..and one cat, Murphy is currently cooling his fuzzy little heels in my bedroom, acclimating himself to the new environment, while I slowly introduce him to society.

He has a nervous stomach, which while thankfully has not resulted in puking...it has resulted in gas and bad breath (I have been assured this will pass when he settles down)

So..my room smells like...well...sun warmed cadaver.

His little bio said he was "chatty". However it did not mention his meow was soundless, like an old charlie chaplin movie...or cat charades.

He purrs, and when he sniffs around it sounds like the ladies room at studio 54.

This cat could snort a Buick...however he rarely actually MEOWS with acoustics...its a bit disconcerting.

Sometimes it takes a while..

If any of you out there are in a less than conventional relationship by societies standards you will understand my chagrin at this weekends happenings.

I live in the heart of suburbia.
Granted its gotten a little more "flavorful" in my hood lately, but you dont have to travel far down the road to be once again in the warmly beating epicenter of "soccer moms and SUVs"

Well my sweetie and I went out to dinner on Saturday at a local tex-mex establishment.

Margaritas and beer all around..keep em coming!

So of course we get carded (because clearly I am so young and well preserved that I boggle more simple minds)
The server cards me first, than my sweetie.

You could tell he wanted so badly to ask for mine back...and confirm the age difference.

Because, you see my "guy" is significantly younger than me.

It is such a non-issue with us, that we rarely even notice other people noticing anymore.

All of our friends and family have gotten past the age difference, mostly because over time I think people stop looking at each other in terms of labels and start just seeing what works.

We are irritatingly nauseatingly blissfully happy, but you need not worry about me blogging ad nauseum about it. We've been together for close to a year now, and I havent done it yet..so ya'll are safe.

Never have sex with an idiot.

Because you might get pregnant..

The other chromosomal donor for my brilliant offspring has decided he is going to be a father.

Apparently after ten fricking years of having a son, he has decided he is going to be a father now.

Therefor he has started showing up at Vinners soccer games.

This of course makes Vin estatic and me somewhere between mildly irritated and nauseous.

Either way he has decided to partake in the social activity of parenting..

So last Saturday instead of the usual schedule of taking Vin back to his house and taking a rest or shagging his girlfriend while my son plays on the internet.

He decided to take him to a movie.

And what movie does he choose to take my 10 year old angel to?

300.

Which is rated R. So when Vinner tells him he is not allowed to see rated R movies, his father tells him.
"If your mother has a problem with it, tell her to call me"
and the trampy girlfriend adds "You dont HAVE to tell her if she doesnt ask"

Which of course Vin couldn't wait to tell me.

.....

So when I saw him at Vincents soccer game, I calmly discussed that I think Vincent is too young to see rated R movies, and that MY rules are still rules even when I am not around.
he actually SMIRKED at me and told me I cant tell him what to do with "his boy"

So, I called him a useless pain in the ass monkey fucker and planted my Doc Marten on his boney ass hurling him over the bannister and crashing to the concrete below.

Ok...I didnt actually do that.

I took a very deep breath and simply smiled and reminded him that according to the Commonwealth of Virginia I actually CAN do just that...

HAH!

What ARE they teaching our kids these days??

I'll admit being a parent is so much harder than I ever imagined.

And what is the absolute hardest is keeping on top of his school work.

The wee V (who is not so wee anymore) brings home pounds of paperwork daily and weekly.

Home work, classwork, tests, ect ect ect...

And I have not always been diligent about sifting through all of the paperwork, checking on his progress and cracking the whip when necessary.

What they so rarely tell you is how easy it is to slip into complacency and believe your child when they tell you they dont have homework, and that school is going great, rather than make the daily effort to make sure he is "working" and being the "bitch" when he is slacking.

So a few months ago I began paying ALOT more attention to what my son brings home in his backpack, what he does on his tests, and classwork.
And it is scaring the hell out of me.
Because the work he is getting away with not doing at school is appallingly.

Most parents if they look at a paper of their childs and see a check mark or an "OK" dont feel the need to actually read the paper and see what the questions and answers are.
Well thats our fault, we should be reading the papers.

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, I walk in my door at 6:00pm usually, and before I plant my head at night I : walk the dog, excavate the cat box , do laundry, make dinner, clean up after dinner, and tidy some portion of the house.
This does not include homework overseeing...

Well it is shocking to discover how much my son bullshits his way through tests and classwork.

AND HE GETS AWAY WITH IT!

It was funny when I was a kid, it is NOT so funny now that it is my child getting away with it.

So I make him redo his bullshit at home, basically I am reteaching my son what the schools and teachers are not teaching him..

So please forgive my long lapses, relearning the Revolutionary War and The Declaration of Independence and Thomas Jefferson and George Mason's contributions so I can make sure my SON learns them...doesnt leave as much time for blogging as it used to.

I'm still around and full of useless crap and opinions..I'm just a bit refocused at the mo.

Coming soon...

Dog Obediance classes
And Long division.

woop..woop