Never have sex with an idiot.

Because you might get pregnant..

The other chromosomal donor for my brilliant offspring has decided he is going to be a father.

Apparently after ten fricking years of having a son, he has decided he is going to be a father now.

Therefor he has started showing up at Vinners soccer games.

This of course makes Vin estatic and me somewhere between mildly irritated and nauseous.

Either way he has decided to partake in the social activity of parenting..

So last Saturday instead of the usual schedule of taking Vin back to his house and taking a rest or shagging his girlfriend while my son plays on the internet.

He decided to take him to a movie.

And what movie does he choose to take my 10 year old angel to?

300.

Which is rated R. So when Vinner tells him he is not allowed to see rated R movies, his father tells him.
"If your mother has a problem with it, tell her to call me"
and the trampy girlfriend adds "You dont HAVE to tell her if she doesnt ask"

Which of course Vin couldn't wait to tell me.

.....

So when I saw him at Vincents soccer game, I calmly discussed that I think Vincent is too young to see rated R movies, and that MY rules are still rules even when I am not around.
he actually SMIRKED at me and told me I cant tell him what to do with "his boy"

So, I called him a useless pain in the ass monkey fucker and planted my Doc Marten on his boney ass hurling him over the bannister and crashing to the concrete below.

Ok...I didnt actually do that.

I took a very deep breath and simply smiled and reminded him that according to the Commonwealth of Virginia I actually CAN do just that...

HAH!