Volunteers being accepted...

My co-worker is obsessed with Vybz Kartel.

And not in a "OMG he is like sooooo hot!" kind of way (actually imagining my co-worker even saying that is funnier than this post will likely be)

If you're saying "Who the hell is Vybz Kartel?" well you're not alone. Until about two weeks ago I too was blissfully ignorant of his very existance.

Vybz Kartel is a Jamaican dancehall artiste' (and if you dont know what dancehall is, google it)
I could tell you about his many children by different momma's, or the multiple counts of murder he's facing (so many that each week when he goes to a bail hearing, they have to postpone it until next weeks NEW murder charges are filed)

But what is really got the bee buzzing in her bonnet is that Vybz Kartel is apparently bleaching his skin with soap.
Blue soap...well blue soap is what he is admitting to, but come the hell on. If soap were all it took to bleach your skin why the hell isn't everyone slowly getting paler? I mean one would reason, the more baths you take the lighter you would get so all these little old white men scuttling about playing shuffleboard really used to be Djaimon Hounsou?
Umm we're calling bullshit. bull to the shit.

He's taking pills. And he looks like deep fried crap that's covered in ashes...so I suppose we can add ridiculously oblivious to the list (or maybe he's a vampire and CANT see his reflection and therefor cant see how stupid he looks)

But what she really wants is to find someone black as night to start taking these things for us so we can chart the difference.
FINDING a real live human being that we know who is
1. blue black
2. willing to take these pills
3. Willing to PAY for the pills (hey we're interested by we arent funding this experiment)
4. willing to let us study him like a chia pet while he's taking the pills..
Well it's not proving so easy.

I being on the whiter shade of pale am not much help.
She, while black apparently isnt aquainted with anyone black enough who is willing to bleach themselves for our amusement/enjoyment/lets pretend it's an education (gee I wonder why?)

Nontheless...she is obsessed. So I get to listen to Dancehall music and look at pictures of his zombi-fied self throughout the day.

Ohhhhh yeaahhhh...so how have you been spending the year and half we've been apart?