What a pain in the hoohah...

*WARNING GRAPHIC TESTING POST AHEAD*

Yesterday I had another test.

Nuchal Translucency/ Sequential Screen.
It is a sonogram in coordination with a blood draw to determine the chances the child I am currently carrying may have Downs Syndrome, trisomy 18, or open neural tube defects.

It is not required, but is suggested for those over 30...something.

The little brochure told me this was an EXTERNAL sonogram, which I am cool with.

But the brochure lied, this was an internal sonogram....again.

Now the last internal sonogram I had so pissed my cervix off, it caused a short period of spotting, so I was not eager to repeat this process. But I was there already draped in my little paper drape.

SHIT.

And I'll tell you ladies and gentleman this time around it SUCKED the suck of a thousand sucking suckers.

The chair you sit in is similar to a astronauts launch seat in that after you placed you feet in the alotted stirrups you are lifted and tilted back and backside up so that the doctor has a clear inward shot with the sono stick.
Which to be honest looks alot like a dildo with a condom on it..
So in the "probe" slides (BLLUURRRRGG)

First the attempt to locate my ovaries, again, which entails much pushing down and around on my abdomen, whilst shifting about inside..OUCH.

After seemingly hours/seconds of this, I politely reminded the doctor that just a mere two weeks ago we took a looky loo at said ovaries and they were present and happy, lets assume they still are and get down to bizness.

There on the screen is my little spud, however spud is napping in a position the is not conducive to picture taking so the doctor shakes the probe around inside me, (think stirring motion) waking spud up and causing him to move into what I assume is the first correct position.
Then there is more shaking and spud moves again (after what appears to be a swatting motion in the doctor's direction)

Poor Mr. Dreadful was very disconcerted by this. And later told me of his urge to ask the doctor if he could "stick that thing up his ass and start stirring" Bwaa I was thinking same thing.

Thankfully the process ended before I blacked out...and off I went to be poked by a phlebotomist.

Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Another poke (by the phlebotomist) in 4 or 5 weeks..and then thats that.

But no more tests of this nature. I'm done..what will be will be.

I am physically and emotionally spent from this roller coaster ride.