Well shoot.

This is my 100th post...and I have to waste the auspiciousness by relaying that my beloved pooch Brutus has died.

So Penny is feeling rather dreadful....I'll be back soon.


pffft. cosmic kick in my ass.

Halloweenie on a stick...

(and now back to our regularly scheduled blogging..Penny's had enough doom gloom and dreadfulness for a while)

Another Halloween come and gone.
I love Halloween. But has always seemed so anticlimatic to me....even more so than Christmas.

Your chances of still getting some celebratory high after Christmas are quite good. Christmas music is still playing, and as everyone knows you have till after New Years to give and receive gifts..but Halloween comes...and then just as quickly goes.
Aside from the candy hangover and a rapidly decomposing pumpkin nothing sticks around very long.
Christmas decorations lurk for weeks...but how often do you see Halloween decorations more than a day after the celebratory activities?

I know people who plan their Halloween costume months in advance, yet come November 1st..its back to the closet never to be heard from again..(well unless you hit the sales and picked up a few "costumes" for the off season..ahem)

This year I was a Fairy Goth Mother...because it allowed me to wear three of my most favorite things together....overalls, Doc Martens...and wings.. Frankly I would dress like that every day (well minus the wings..,maybe)
It was really brilliant I tell you..except for all the chowderheads who kept asking me if I was an angel...
WHA? Wearing BLACK wings, Big clompy Docs (they were my steel toes..god I love those) waay too much makeup and a NOSE RING?
Silly rabbits...

Anyway, all that remains today is some rather stubborn glitter (which even after you shower a few flecks remain) and the dark nail polish.
(My squeeze went into work this morning and he had a few flecks of glitter stuck to him...he told them that his "glittery girlfriend sat on Satan Claus' lap last night to tell him whether she wanted a trick or a treat" BWAAAA he's so silly)

I of course squired Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Vadar and a saucy little red devil around the hood last night and am pleased to report the larcenous hi-jinx was well in check...and much candy was collected.

But today...pfft fun hangover.
It's all a big let down...

Luckily I think I can find a use for those wings again...

Blurg...

Well what a shit month eh?

The Burlington VT police have arrested the man they believe to be responsible (believe..snort..innocent until proven guilty..blah blah blah) and charged him with aggravated murder.
Cause of death strangulation and blunt force trauma.
And the bag of shit raped her as well.

Frankly my mind refuses to dwell on this, like a scared little child it captures just a glimpse and it runs to the corner and refuses to listen anymore..eyes screwed shut, fingers in ears singing "La la la la I'm not listening"

But time and life marches on..

JC is back at work now.

Every parents nightmare.

This is Michelle Gardner Quinn. She is 21 years old and a Senior at the University of Vermont.
She was last seen at 2:15am on the morning of Saturday 7 October, 2006 after parting company with a group of friends celebrating a birthday at a local bar in Burlington Vermont.

She was reported missing Saturday night when she failed to meet her parents who were up from Virginia for "Parents Weekend", and has now been missing for 6 days.

Michelle is described as a wordly traveller who has studied abroad in Costa Rica, Brazil and South Africa, fiercely intelligent and independent.

She is also the 21 year old daughter of a co-worker of mine.

A kind, well spoken man who adored his daughter and spoke of her with great pride very often.

That this would happen to any parent is horrifying, that I can put a familiar face to the suffering is absolutely heartrending.

That my sympathy is not for "those poor parents" but for "JC" someone I've talked to weekly at least makes it so much more raw that my heart just literally aches for him and he wife.

This is a horror that words cannot express, it is beyond words.

The burgenoning fear that JC and his wife must have faced that Saturday night makes my insides just twist.
I know the day I came home and Vin wasnt there, and I didnt know where he was for almost an entire hour was the most terrifying experience of my life..hands down.

The panic you feel is visceral, and you are helpless to do anything, and can only hope for the best, while imagining the worst, and it is amazing the depths your mind can conjour at these times.

I just keep repeating "This isnt happening...this isnt happening" Until I fairly shouted it over it over.

I pray with all of my heart that his result will be much as mine...his child will be safe and he will hug her and tell her he loves her and the vice grip around his heart will lessen so he can breathe.

...Updated Friday = 13 October, 2006
As some of you have already learned.

The body of Michelle was found earlier today.
I am frankly just to fucking upset to post coherently.

fuck it all.

In the infamous words of the Wee-V

Hockeys on tonight...Hockey's on tonight...

Hockey's on toooooooooooooooooonight!!!

The exhaulted sport of the artic gods (not to be confused with the exhaulted sport of the pitch gods) begins tonight for me with my beloved Capitals battling against the NY Rangers.


woot woot

Empty bag of fun..

So, Satan had returned to his presurgery self with no real ill effects from his..change.

With the sole exception of he now humps his dog bed, the veterinarian has assured me this is only temporary, sort of a last oomph of the testosterone..but it is a bit disconcerting to see him having relations with his bed.

He still chases the cat, he still irritates the hell out of my mastiff but barking in his face, his favorite chewy toy is still the hair catch from the shower drain...which when he manages to steal he runs and hides under the bed with just his hairy hind end sticking out...tail swishing in furious glee at his plunder..
In the morning when I let him out of his crate he still hauls ass to Vincent still slumbering in bed and jumps on top of him trying to pull his covers off.
He had pulled the legs off of his "Suspicious Chicken" toy so now it's just a torso with wings (he chewed his face off weeks ago)

Basically he is back to his ill behaved self with a few added bonuses.

And his little bean bag is empty...

My little cone head

So as I posted last week my furry little satan dog went in for the great gender neutralizing surgery.
Since it was considered major surgery (and I'm sure you gentlemen are saying "damn skippy!")
He had an overnight stay at hotel de Colonial (thats the vet)
and sweet jesus, I had forgotten how quiet and peaceful my house was before Cujo masquerading as Old Yeller arrived...Thursday night was so serene and peaceful...::sigh::

Friday morning I arrived to pick up said poochie, hoping to see my much calmer beautific angel coming quietly trotting out (medicated to the gills...natch)
But instead out shoots the hellbeast...still much like trying to teather a tornado..only now theres a funnel on his head...which he has used judiciously in the last week to bruise each one of us by head butting us.
This cone for you none-pet owners is to keep said pet from munching on his incision..yummy thought that is..

Three things I have discovered about the "cone"
1. when Gretzky goes into a room and attempts to turn around and leave said room he shuts himself in the room. he has locked himself in the bathroom three times so far...this is funny.
2. when he drinks water, it pours out of his funnel like a waterfall, this is not so funny.
3. Sneaking up on him is much easier, but he retaliates by "coning" you.

It's due to come off the end of this week, I wonder if it will be like a brand new world for him...

Use em...or lose em..

Tomorrow is the day..

Gretzky..aka the Great One will be going under the knife to become....
Gretzky...aka "No Nuts"
And not a moment too soon either...theres a saucy little Chihuahua down the road thats taken quite a shine to my posturing pooch and has been finding excuses to scootle past our house.
Not to mention his new favorite person greeting...wag tail..walk around the back of the person and stick his nose practically in their arse while taking deep sniffies...blurg.

Trallop.

I think Brutus knows, he's been giving me that patient 'He'll get his..oh yes he will" look ever since he heard me make the appointment.

This morning I sang the "Gretzky's getting his nuts chopped off" song
And that silly dog danced right along with me...
Vin just glared at me and kept saying "Thats not funny..thats not funny"

He's getting a special din din tonight...its not his favorite (because that clumping cat litter is a BEEOTCH to get out of his teeth) but its a close second...yum yum bologna and cheese sammiches!

Love hurts...and I've the limp to prove it

I'm in a dysfunctional relationship that is going to put me in traction.

I had a soccer game last night...oh and Sunday night...and I've got one tomorrow night...and then again on Saturday.

I am in pain..I got knocked over last night...repeatedly.

Large offensive (and I mean positionally) woman kept losing control and steam rolling me.

I was knocked down 4 times, I have bruises all over my arms and a HUGE one on my elbow from the last tumble where I hit my head on the ground so hard I bit my tongue.

Add this to the usual aches, pains and maladies and I'm moving like I was hit by a truck..and look like I've been drafted into the roller derby.

GOD I LOVE SOCCER...I only wish it didnt love me so much..

A snip in time..

Gretzky's going in the for the snip snip soon.

Whoever said if it's got testicles its trouble...knew what they were talking about!

My adorable puppy has turned into an asshole...and either the nuts go...or I'm letting the cat kick his ass.

Oy!

Back to school...

Its raining. It's pouring. Back to work is boring..

Ok seriously, its the first day of school for my darling little angel.

4th grade.

He insisted on wearing shorts (even though its a bit of a cold downpour) and his clothes dont match.

The lovely nutritious breakfast I had planned was scrapped in favor of "Reeses Puffs cereal" and a handful of M&M's.

The dog drooled all over his backpack, and he informed me that "wearing a rain poncho is GHEY mom" and only grudgingly accepted an umbrella.

It's going to be a lovely lovely year....so officially begineth the pre-teen years.

Meh.

Public Service Announcement

Alrighty.
I'm back.
Just to bring everyone up to date in the last month(ish) I....
Turned 33...again.
Got mugged on my way to see "The Tideliar" when he was here (I blame him)
Did my time on the "God Squad" (Volunteered at my sons VBS) and discovered that organized religion and I...still dont march to the same drummer.
Lost 7 pounds...but amazingly still have my ass.
Nursed my mother back to ambulation after her foot surgery...and didnt kill her.
And...furthered my plot for world domination!!!

There that should bring all of you up to speed.

This time I am sure he said TAGGED

I got tagged by Tideliar again...woop...once more and I get a free toaster..

Five Things in my Freezer
1. Frosty Paws (c'mon you knew they were there!)
2. Trader Joes French Toast (the wee V loves it)
3. A bag of frozen veggies that I use as an icepack
4. Vodka (still unopened)
5. Ice

Five Things in my Closet: (hall)
1. My much loved and much destroyed Doc Martens
2. Soccer Stuff (shoes, knee brace, shin guards, balls...ect ect
3. Fire Extinguisher
4. Baseball Bat
5. 3 boxes of soda - 2 boxes of Fresca and a box of Diet Caffeine Free Dr Pepper (It tastes more like regular Dr Pepper you know)

Five Things in my Car:
1. Empty cigarette box (from a very long time ago)
2. Handy Wipes
3. blanket
4. about 30 pens
5. Wales Rugby jersey

Five things in my purse (other than my wallet..duh)
1. plastic fork
2. 4 tubes and one pot of lip stuff
3. Adderall
4. ATM receipts
5. Rescue Remedy

And since everyone I know on this "scene" has been tagged..I guess my buck stops here (unless I think of someone later..because I just cannot be arsed now)

The Heat makes people do crazy things...

Theres a joke about everyone from Minnesota being born in late summer and fall, because there aint a whole lot else to do in Winter. (My father was on summer break when my brother was conceived, and home on leave from the Marine Corps for me hence our early-mid summer birthdays)

Well I have noticed that in the more southernly states...theres a whole lotta getting on..going on in the summer.
Maybe since they're already hot and sweaty they figure..what the hell?
Maybe it's all that exposed tan skin.

But I actually saw a couple seriously getting into in..in the frozen food section of my grocery store yesterday.

I actually said "Holy Crap" because the sight of two people pressed so close you couldnt get a slice of saran wrap between them..his knees wedged between her legs and his hands on her ass sorting hoisting her up..well you dont expect THAT to be blocking your way to the Frosty Paws (thats ice cream for dogs...they were on sale..ok?) on your average shopping excursion.

I was stunned into statuary.

I know its rude to stare..but...Huzzah.

Whaaaaat?

Yesterday afternoon I am diligently slaving along at my place of enslavement when...pffft.

My computer reboots itself...Well crap.

After the reboot...it does it again...and again.

So like a good little office lemming I call my MIS department and say "My computer has gone postal and is holding me hostage, please bring a gun"

After staring my my computer attempting to reboot itself again..it is officially declared dead.

And I get..a new hard drive...and therefor lose everything on my old hard drive.

The MIS guy asks me "Do you want me to attempt to recover anything from your previous hard drive?"

Frantically searching my memory...not for important work mind you..but illicit ramblings/pictures/blah dee blah blah I may have stupidly saved (or not so cleverly hidden) and would very much NOT want recovered and viewed by our MIS department..I say "Um no, thats ok, I'm sure I can recollect whatever information I may need"

Dammit..

Let this be a lesson..for whatever you wish it to be..
It would just be a shame to lose all my "stuff" without one..dont you think?

The Trip To WhizKonSin..The Departure/Arrival...

Our departure from the lovely Reagan National Airport (which will forever just be "National Airport" to those of us who know best) was delayed 35 Minutes...

Immediately this raises the red flag of alarm for our beloved heroine, because being able to tell time she realizes... that if the plane is scheduled to land in Milwaukee at 3:35 pm, and her connecting flight to Minneapolis/St Paul departs Milwuakee at 3:25 PM, there is a problem..So she calms walked up to the counter jerk at the MIDWEST counter and politely says "Sir, my connecting flight departs 10 minutes before we are due to land, this is a problem"

Counter jerk-wad says "Yes there are actually 8 of you transferring the plane will wait"

I doubt this, but can hope. And really cant blame counter jerk for being a lying queen with over gelled hair.

Upon landing in Milwaukee at 3:40 I am not too suprised to discover, the connecting flight has departed.

I am considerably more suprised to learn that the next flight to MSP departs at 9:40pm.
FIVE HOURS LATER.

So we are given a 20 dollar food voucher at the Midwest desk, I called my sister in law in time for her to stop her 1 1/2 hour drive and turn around...to drive back later.
And trudge off to kill some time in Milwaukees airport and partake of the fine airport cuisine.

These are some things we learned while whittling away the hours.

1. There is a candy bar called a cow pie in Wisconsin, and it is yummeriffic...and tastes alot like a turtle (the candy..not the aminal)
2. Most of the food vendors stop selling food between 6:30 and 7pm (thankfully the wonderful woman at the bookseller was kind enough to tell me this, before I was unable to redeem said voucher)
3. A 20 dollar food voucher will buy: 2 Pizza Hut personal cheese pizzas, a large drink, a bottle of milk and a bag of chips
4. There is not only a Harley Davidson shop, but also an aviation museum in the airport.
5. They sell something called "cheese curds" at the variety shop.
6. They also sell those big foam cheese wedges people wear on their heads (packers fans)
7. BEER IS NOW CHEAPER THAN GAS, so several gifts in the shop declared..
8. Starbucks coffee does not come in decaf there...the wee V was hopped up! (but really with 5 hours to kill did I care? nope)
9. Acid washed jeans still look like crap, even more so as...SHORTS..on men.
10. 5 hours is a very very long time to kill in Milwaukee's airport.

Finally we depart (Midwest has given us 2 seventyfive dollar vouchers towards our next flight) arrive in Minneapolis St Paul at 11:30..ish..and discover..Yup our bags didn't make the trip.
Apparently 5 hours wasnt enough time for the cheeseheads to ensure our luggage arrived with us.
I am not pleased, and trudge along with my other "transferers" over to the desk to report said lack of luggage.
So when the wee V exhausted and stressed starts to cry (mind you this is 12:30 our time) I do not stop him, but glare at the counter lady as I dramatically soothe my angel.
Dirty pool I know..but I'm petty sometimes.

I give the woman the address I am staying at in Eau Claire Wisconsin (noting her alarm at the distance with a bit of satisfaction) collect my second set of 75$ vouchers and head out to my sister in law handily parked at the curb..

We've arrived....

more to come...

The prodigal penny has returned

I'm home..on terra homa.

My luggage however, is in milwaukee.

I'm am tired..and good lord it is hot here.

Will fill all of you lovelies in on my shennanigans in the dairy state...when my brain arrives ..like the silly girl I am I packed it in my checked luggage.

Yawn...back to bed..or at least the sofa

Wisconsin...Smell the Dairy Air.

I'm leavin on a jet plane, dont know when...oh wait yes I do...I'll be back in 10 days.

I am going to Wisconsin..why you ask?? Brilliant question!

I am going to visit my brother and his family...and the Minnesota contingency of my familt topiary...will be coming down on the 4th to visit ...and drink Old Milwaukee no doubt!

My brother is a hoot, he's very serious and responsible.

I actually like my sister in law (she's gorgeous as well so she fits in nicely)

My nephew and my son are separated by only 5 months..so havoc will be wrecked there...little hooligans.

But I have to admit, while I love my family all equally I simply adore my neice. She is 12 (oh dear lord maybe she's 13?) Anyway I adore her.

She is simply the most interesting and fascinating person of any age.
Se has Aspergers (look it up I'm in a hurry) and she is quite frankly brilliant.

Unfortunately, she is at the age where being slightly different, gorgeous and brilliant..is not so easy when you go to school will hateful little cows masquerading as preteen girls.
So a nice long hang out session with Auntie Penny is just what she needs.

Anyway, I gotta go get ready to leave.

If I dont post before...Happy July 4th..

Celebrate our independence from the oppressively tyrannical Great Britain!

:-P

God what a day...

I'm beat.

Conversational A D D

(I wrote this last night, but didnt post it until this morning..blerg)

I just got home from my soccer game..which we won.
Go us.

Anyway, today at work the top I wore necessitated the wearing of a strapless undergarment.
Because the showing of bra straps is growled upon at my place on enslavement.
My strapless brassiere is a torture device, it is by all practice standards...the upper half of a corset, complete with rib gouging boning to keep the girls upwardly mobile.
So naturally by about 3:30 I am uncomfortable and ready to hurl said evil foundation garment out the window...since I could not..I did the next best thing and whined to my co-workers about the uncomfortableness.
Which of course diverted into a conversation about bras in general..and then one of my coworkers blurts out that she cant go braless because her nipples are really large and pointy outy (ok she didnt use pointy outy, but I edited for my amusement)

begyerpardon?

Now, There is such a thing as oversharing with your co-workers, granted there is a fine line between talking about brassieres and discussing what fillith thine cup.
But it exists, and it should not be crossed.

After a few stunned moments I simply said "Well thats unfortunate..back to work I am!"

and fairly sailed back to my desk..